Did you know there is a condition known as Paruresis which is quite literally a fear of toilets. While to some people this may be something of a joke, many people have a genuine fear of a toilet to the extent where they will hold back even if they are in significant pain. There are numerous elements to this fear of toilets (perhaps best described as a phobia of toilets) which we will cover below. However, rest assured those who have a fear of toilets are not a small minority as many people suffer from the same phobia.
Fear of different types of toilet
If you search the Internet you will come across many people who have a fear of a particular type/style of toilet. This may be men who feel genuine stress when standing in line in the urinals to those who have fear of for example Victorian styled black seated, high cistern toilets with long dangling chains. It will help many people to learn that Paruresis is not an uncommon phobia although it is one which can be addressed and reduced/controlled.
Fear of germs
We hear regular stories of people who “hover” over a public toilet for fear of germs and catching something. The recent corona virus outbreak has not helped with this genuine fear with the rumours and counter rumours that it actually originated from a toilet seat. Whether or not this is correct is irrelevant, but there are many people who have a genuine fear of germs. Hands up, how many of us will clean the toilet seat before we use it, whether at home, with family or friends, the office or in public?
If you take a step back and look at the situation, it is not unfair or irrational to have a genuine fear of germs in this particular environment. The fact that germs often more commonplace in other environments does not necessarily help but is fact.
Fear of using toilets
Yet another very common fear is a phobia for using toilets away from an individual’s home. We regularly hear stories of individuals who refuse to use their work toilets or public lavatories because of the stress and anxiety this brings about. On occasion these fears can be traced back to childhood issues such as perhaps bullying at school in the toilet, being exposed when someone opened the door or an array of other uncomfortable experiences.
There are real dangers when it comes to refraining from going to the toilet until you are home. Indeed, there have been occasions where individuals have been forced to seek medical advice because of the consequences.
Intimacy in public
The use of a toilet is for many people a very intimate act and something they need to carry out in their home environment. Whether it is the fear of being “heard” or the fear that people “know they are in the toilet” these are genuine concerns for many many people. In reality, this type of phobia probably invovles an array of other phobias. Fears which can culminate in many different environments to make the individual feel very uncomfortable.
The reality is that nobody is interested if you are using a public toilet, in a pub or restaurant as they see this as “normal”. However, if you are of a nervous disposition this can be challenging and cause significant stress which can then lead to you avoiding specific situations. If you are forced to change your life because of a fear/phobia then this is a classic example of a real phobia.
Fear of toilets, Paruresis and CBT
While there is no “cure” as such there are a number of different treatments available which can assist with your fear of toilets. One of these is best described as “graded exposure” which means that you expose yourself to your fear bit by bit. Taking the small steps gives you confidence for example to sit on a toilet seat for five seconds the first time, then 10 seconds the second time, then 20 seconds and on. Slowly but surely your body will realise there is no real danger and gradually you become “used” to it. This will then help to reduce your anxiety, avoid panic attacks and outright phobia issues.
This is not to suggest you will never have the anxious twinges again but the likelihood is that you will know how to control them if they do re-emerge. Many people have found CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to be extremely useful and something they can use in other areas of their life or to tackle other phobias.
Imagine life free of a fear of toilets
When you consider this very common phobia, Paruresis, it can have a huge impact on an individual’s life. We have seen scenarios where:-
• People avoid going out with friends
• It can cause absence from work
• Certain careers may be difficult to accommodate
• People have required medical treatment
For those who have no knowledge of a fear of toilets the above list of scenarios may feel a little bizarre and a little far-fetched. However, if you are somebody with a genuine phobia of toilets they demonstrate in detail what can happen.
You are not alone, Paruresis is quite common
For many people some of the less well discussed, but not always uncommon, phobias/fears can have a significant impact on the mental well-being. The very fact that you know that you are not alone with this fear/phobia can release a huge burden and help to control anxiety. If this side of the condition is more under control then you can focus on the actual fear itself and eventually beating it.
Summary
While to some people a fear of toilets may be something of a joke it is certainly not a joke to those who suffer from it, Paruresis is real! This is a genuine phobia, which may take in a whole array of different other conditions, which can be life changing and in some cases life-threatening. For many people gradual exposure can help them to control the fear, breathing techniques and “mind games” can help control anxiety. Once these particular issues are more under control then it is easier to focus on beating/controlling the phobia itself and eventually taking back control.
If you have any questions or queries regarding Paruresis, a fear of toilets, please feel free to visit our forum.
