What exactly is a social phobia?

[kelbel]

I have friends who are more confident in some social situations than others, some who thrive at getting up in front of a room full of people and giving a 30 minute presentation and some who shudder at the thought (like me!),some who are totally at ease around others and can relax and be themselves, and some who can be really quite shy around new faces and only open up to those they know well.

Where does feeling uncomfortable in social situations start, and a social phobia begin? Is it when avoidance comes into play?

Also, the trouble with our generation (I say "our generation" as if i'm a youngster lol, but now at 34 I was of the generation when alcopops hits the shelves aged 15 and were banned shortly afterwards!) is that socialising with friends often involves nights out and alcohol. Alcohol can fast become a crutch to rely on and make people feel more comfortable. I've lost track of the times when my agoraphobia was bad and my friends would try and encourage me to come to places by saying "you'll be ok once you've had a drink", which is such bad advice and a very slippery slope to go down.

 

[Jade]

. Alcohol can fast become a crutch to rely on and make people feel more comfortable. I've lost track of the times when my agoraphobia was bad and my friends would try and encourage me to come to places by saying "you'll be ok once you've had a drink", which is such bad advice and a very slippery slope to go down.

I agree that drinking is not going to help any social phobia and I think maybe it could make it worse. When I left home at started making friends we’d go out to a bar of clubbing but I always found if I had got particularly drunk, the next morning I had very bad feelings of anxiety because I worried so much of what I had done and said. Drinking stops you from being able to take control fully of a situation and feelings and you usually find yourself doing something you wouldn't do when you were sober. For me the morning and a day or two after that all I felt was anxious, worried and embarrassed.

 

[GH0STP03T]

I've walked down that drunken path and in the end I felt even worse! The temporary 'Dutch Courage' isn't worth it in the long run. I remember at one point or another craving the confidence boost alcohol gave me like an addict and waking up the next morning even more fearful and anxious. Alcohol made me into a seemingly confident person when in actual fact it was quite the opposite and when you can't fulfil that image you've created that's when things start to unravel.

A lot of my friends who don't necessarily suffer from anxiety disorders say the experience the same sort of anxious thoughts and moods, which just reinforces to me just how damaging alcohol can be.

 

[Mark]

There is also the "fear" when you might have had too much the night before and bits of the night might be a bit hazy. I know of people who are effected by anxiety for days after having too much to drink - if you are of an anxious nature I think drinking too much should be avoided at all costs. That is not to say we cant all have a few social drinks but in moderation.

 

[Jade]

Alcohol made me into a seemingly confident person when in actual fact it was quite the opposite and when you can't fulfil that image you've created that's when things start to unravel.

This I can completely agree with! Thinking of me when I was a teenager and I ended up drunk at a house party and eventually fell asleep. When I woke up I just felt I had to get out of there and didn’t feel comfortable in that situation. My friend at the time had left the same night and I was adamant I wanted to stay, so I was basically waking up in a house full of strangers so I fled. I then worried for weeks later I’d bump into the same people and re-live some drunken embarrassment.

 

[Jade]

There is also the "fear" when you might have had too much the night before and bits of the night might be a bit hazy. I know of people who are effected by anxiety for days after having too much to drink - if you are of an anxious nature I think drinking too much should be avoided at all costs. That is not to say we cant all have a few social drinks but in moderation.

I think its the haze that worries a lot of people. For me it’s also awful when I can remember something I did that was embarrassing or completely out of character and there is nothing I can do to change it. The worst time for me was when I had gone on a work night out and got very drunk because it really effected my job. I nearly quit out of embarrassment. As you say drink in moderation is fine but your right too much drink for anyone let alone those that suffer with anxiety can be disastrous.

 

[GH0STP03T]

I've slowed my drinking habits right down both anxiety and just better physical health reasons. I rarely go to a pub anymore, the only problem now is that i'm mad anxious when I do go and find it hard to enjoy the social aspect. Anyway, as Mark said everything in moderation is the key.

 

[Jade]

I've slowed my drinking habits right down both anxiety and just better physical health reasons. I rarely go to a pub anymore, the only problem now is that i'm mad anxious when I do go and find it hard to enjoy the social aspect. Anyway, as Mark said everything in moderation is the key.

It’s better though Ghost to feel those feelings of anxiety without alcohol so you can address them and find ways to improve and try to take the edge of anxious feelings. Far better than to completely cloud your feelings and responses through alcohol. Of course we all should also recognise going to the pub or clubbing isn’t the only way to engage with people socially. If you don’t enjoy being in these kind of environments you could always opt for another activity and do something with friends that you feel more comfortable doing.

 

[Beattheblues]

Alcohol and mental illness DO NOT go together - be warned, this can seriously impact any progress you have made